Always jokes
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says "No Tres passing."
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.
... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.
Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.