Always

Always jokes

I always hated being born a Catholic as a kid. The way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over, and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church. I was always thinking, “For God’s sake, just pick a position and fuck me!”

I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.

What did the American say to the Russian?

"Why are you always Russian?"

Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.

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  • What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...

    There is always a kitchen in the back.

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  • So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?

    Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"