Alphabet jokes

So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.

Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"

Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!

The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ

You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."

If O2 is H2O, what is F?

It is H2O too; F is water as well.

I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.

Q: What's a conspiracy theorist's favorite letter? A: Q.

Me: I'm afraid of random letters.

Therapist: You are?

Me: [screams]

Therapist: Oh, I see.

Me: [screaming intensifies]

What does "A" say to "ss"?

"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."

How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?

Add the "S."

Did you know there is no "p" in the alphabet? ABCDEFGHIJKLM(NOP)!

Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?

Student: Apple!

Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?

Student:....Bitch...

"F" stand for family, that's why "orphan" is spelled with "ph."

People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)

Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.

Her last name starts with "A" and ends with "D," and the middle letters are "P-O-O."

A B C D E F GUN.

X is for X-treme shooting!

【┻┳══━一

Kid singing “abcd.”

Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.