Alphabet

Alphabet jokes

Orphan

    • Why do orphans hate the letter FMD? Because F stands for "family," M stands for "mom," and D stands for "dad."

    Alphabet memes

    Death

    • A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.

    B is for Basil assaulted by bears.

    C is for Clara who wasted away.

    D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.

    E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.

    F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.

    G is for George smothered under a rug.

    H is for Hector done in by a thug.

    I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.

    J is for James who took lye by mistake.

    K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.

    L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.

    M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.

    N is for Neville who died of ennui.

    O is for Olive run through with an awl.

    P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.

    Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.

    R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.

    S is for Susan who perished of fits.

    T is for Titus who flew into bits.

    U is for Una who slipped down a drain.

    V is for Victor squashed under a train.

    W is for Winnie embedded in ice.

    X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.

    Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.

    Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

  • 14

    • Kid

    • Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?

    The quiet kid: Splosion.

    Teacher: What comes after A?

    The quiet kid: AK-47.

    Teacher: Faints.

  • 3

    • Bathroom

    • This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”

    The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”

    So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”

    When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”

    The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”