Alphabet jokes
Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?
Because all the other letters are not Z's.
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
Q: What's a conspiracy theorist's favorite letter? A: Q.
A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed, and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration. He spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with, and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water, and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything. I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get, and yet he won't speak!"
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!"
Why does nobody talk to the letter G?
Because it's always in the middle of awkward!
o o a a.
What's a zebra? A couple sizes bigger than an A.
What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it's the "R," but it's really the "C."
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
Why is "dark" spelled with a "k" and not with a "c"?
Because you can't C in the dark!
Spell fuzz.
Okay, F-U-Z-Z, which also, it sounds like "F U Z's."
Ppppppp.
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
Kid singing “abcd.”
Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”
A capital E backwards is just it's mirror image.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
Ii.