Alcohol jokes
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.
I'll let you decide.
Mom, I’m pregnant.
Are you drunk? Why? Because you’re boy.
So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.
The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.
I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.
What's the difference between a club and a bar?
I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"
Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":
"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."
Aj died in a bar.
The end.
If 6 guys are in a room with each other, is it technically a 6-pack?
A man walks into a bar and then out.
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.
How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.
My dick wants to buy you a beer. 🍺
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a drink and a mop.
“Huh, I wonder why he needs a mop?”
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."