Alcohol jokes

Chocolate

Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.

Memes

Coffee

2 years ago

My mom after she has had enough of us

The image shows a man in a suit with text overlayed that reads, "Half the day, I wonder if it's too late for coffee. The other half, I wonder if it's too early for alcohol."

Hol up

The image shows a four-panel comic strip followed by a screenshot from the game "Among Us". In the first four panels, a man is shown sitting at a table on four different "free days": "tobacco free day", "alcohol free day", "coffee free day", and "masturbation free day". In each panel, he has a smoking object in his mouth. The fifth panel is a screenshot of the "Among Us" game, showing an "Emergency Meeting". Text on the image says, "EMERGENCY MEETING" and "Calera".

Cocktail

1 year ago

A sign for a bar or restaurant that says "Big White COCKTAILS".

Beer

8 months ago

Beer

1 year ago

A collage of screenshots of Scotty Kilmer's YouTube videos. Each video has a different theme: using fuel additives when one can't afford beer, being drunk, and keeping secrets. The word "Secret" is overlaid twice on two different videos. The word "Drunk" is overlaid on one video.

Florida Man

1 year ago

The image shows a news graphic with the headline "Florida man claims he only drank at stoplights, and not while driving" along with the text "arrested for DUI" and a mugshot of Earle Stevens.

Success

1 year ago

The image shows a muscular man with headphones on, and the text on the image says "SUCCESS REQUIRES REPLACEMENT" followed by a list of things to replace "with Alcohol", including "Alcohol", "Failing", "Overthinking", "Blame", "Toxic Friends", "Complaining", "Netflix marathons", and "Fake influencers".

Photoshop

2 years ago

Please tell me this is photoshopped

A bald man with glasses, wearing a studded leather harness and holding two bottles of Beefeater gin. The text at the bottom of the image reads: "WTF. I hope for his sake there is some photoshop involved here."

Drunk

5 months ago

A man is looking at his phone. The text says: "Dude, you're drunk, you can barely walk." Yeah no shit, that's why I'm gonna drive home, dumbass.

Wine

1 year ago

👁👄👁

Three bottles of wine are placed next to each other with different labels. The label of the left bottle shows a black-and-white face with an eye and the word 'Envy'. The label of the middle bottle shows a pair of lips and the word 'Desire'. The label of the right bottle shows a face with an eye and the word 'Sweet Revenge'. Each bottle is marked with a price tag of 9.49 dollars. The text reads 'Sweet White Wine from Michigan St Julian', 'Sweet Rose Wine from Michigan St Julian' and 'Sweet Red Wine from Michigan St Julian'. There is a white box in the background with 'CHARDONNAY CALIFORNIA' written on it.

Eye

1 year ago

A meme showing a scene from the movie Harry Potter where a student recites a spell: "Eye of rabbit, harp string hum, turn this water into rum." Below, a chalice is pictured, and inside it, a woman looks shocked with the text: "Oh fuck, you're gonna make me rum."

Man

1 year ago

The image shows a text with the first line "Me: I promise I won't form a perfect 256-man Macedonian phalanx tonight" and the next line says "3 DRINKS LATER", followed by an illustration of a Macedonian phalanx.

Noodle

1 month ago

Gorillaz

An animated image depicts 2-D holding Noodle, who appears ill with green skin, in his arms. 2-D is holding a bottle to Noodle's mouth as if attempting to give her a drink.

Shot

1 year ago

Sounds amazing

A cartoon of Rick, from the "Rick and Morty" series, looks disoriented with blurred background of alcoholic bottles. The text in the image reads: "When the first 4 shots don't hit you so you take 3 more and then they all hit you at once."

Wizard

7 months ago

A wizard is looking into the distance at a sunset. Above the wizard is text that reads: "alcohol abuse? I would never. I love alcohol."

Wine

1 year ago

A text message conversation. The first message says, "Started my juice cleanse yesterday and also went for a hike." The second message says, "bullsh*t, what'd you really do?" The third message says, "drank 3 bottles of wine and fell down the stairs."

Alcohol memes

Community

Jeffery Neamiahs Alexander the 5th

1 month ago

does anyone know how to get sober fast, i'm at school wasted

The Defector

4 months ago

Dear Sarah,

Your last comment was 3 days ago. You use your phone about 3-4 hours daily. You have a boyfriend, and possibly are in the field of medicine, although I can't be sure. You're right handed. (By "possibly" in the field of medicine I mean you don't seem to be in it yet, but you may be working towards it.) Ok, so you're definitely not in the field yet and are most likely in high school. You like horror, and y… Read more

Heroin Monkey

1 year ago

if youre not happy single you wont be happy taken. happines comes from alchohol not relationships.

Alcohol Community