Agriculture jokes
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! (aka dinner)
Sneed feed seed.
Formerly Chuck's!
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
Bean.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.