Agriculture jokes
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.
Does chocolate milk come from black cows?
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
What do you call a group of masturbating cows?
Beef stroganoff.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
What is the worst part of milking a cow? The smell of the dairy air.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it? Moscow.
Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo - u
You: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Random person: Why?
You: To get to the idiot's house!
Random person: What?
You: Knock knock.
Random person: Who's there?
You: The chicken.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
"We've invented the spade!"
"Oh wow, this is ground-breaking!"
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"