Agriculture Jokes

Why do orphans like cows?

Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.

What do you call a red potato?

A tomato. 🍅

(I know it's cringe!)

What do you call a legless cow?

Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.

I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.

What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You stop milking a cow after 15 years.

My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.

What do retarded cops give tickets for?

Going over 45 in a potato zone.

Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?

He got a pat on the head.

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.

"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."

Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"

In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.

Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.

Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.

So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.