Agriculture jokes

What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.

What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?

"Where do you live?"

What do you call a pig in a farm?

- A pig in a farm.

What did the cow say every morning?

Good moorning!

What did a fat cow give you?

Homework.

What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!

Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?

A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄

Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.

What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?

A milkshake.

One time, a cow saved my life.

It was bovine intervention.

Rabbit poop is cereal.

What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?

They both hang by something.

Why did the cow say moo?

Because he had to go poo.

What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.

Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.

Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

A cow with no front legs walking around?

Beef stroganoff.

How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.

Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?

A: Udderly destroyed.

What's the difference between an orphan and a bowl of apples?

The apples got picked!

What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.