Afterlife jokes
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
What did one ghost say to another ghost?
"You're boo-tiful!"
Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?
Heaven always has 5-star reviews.
You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.
Why are there gates on a graveyard?
Because people are dying to get inside. Lol
where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
There's something special about cemeteries.
People are dying to get inside.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.
Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
Why did the chicken kill himself?
To get to the other side.
My favorite toast for parties: May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
He couldn't take the stairway to heaven; he had to take the lift.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!