Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck someone would die later that exact day she found out she had cancer.11 months later my grandpa died of a stroke I hope to see them in heaven I’d like to meet them pls comment good things I really really love them even though I didn’t get to meet them😭😭😭
When Stephen Hawkins died he saw the stareway to heaven. He thought to himself oh god this is awkward
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
Hi guys, jokes for sister.
So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.
Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno
What if death is hell because there is no bridge to heaven?
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.
I killed myself, then woke up.
Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?
'Cause they made a juice out of him.
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
