Cremation:
My last hope for a smoking hot body.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
God: Who ever kills Hitler will go to heaven.
Hitler: 👌👌👌👌
God: 😩😩😩😩
Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?
'Cause they made a juice out of him.
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?
Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.
Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.
Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.
What is hell to you?
Jesus!!!!!
He is everywhere taking our time and energy and our lives for his entertainment.
But Judgment Day is his eternal hell!
And our Eternal Heaven!!
Jesus stinks so bad he killed all living things in Heaven.
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
I killed myself, then woke up.
Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?
Myla: I went to a restaurant.
Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?
Timmy: I went to a concert.
Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?
Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.
You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Who killed Hitler goes to Heaven.
*looks up*
Oh, never mind.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
Why can't ghosts stay happy? Because they are too skeletal.
