Afterlife jokes
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
He couldn't take the stairway to heaven; he had to take the lift.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
Dead people can’t cross the street because they're dead, ha ha!
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
A skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Heaven.
Heaven who?
Heaven fun over there?
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.