Aed jokes
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To build some SOLID BARS.
Q: What's the most popular dish in Africa?
A: The empty one!
What's a rapper's favorite type of food?
Wrap sandwiches.
What did the rapper say when he stubbed his toe?
"Ouch! That's NOT a sick beat!"
How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
What do a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Yo Mama is so dumb, she stares at a juice carton for an eternity because it says "Concentrate" on the box.
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
What do you call a black couple who's on welfare and food stamps?
Lay-Z and Freeyonce.
What's the difference between a female NCO and a zebra?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
Why didn't the oyster share its pearl?
Because it was a cunt.
What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A Gaelic.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.