Aed jokes
What do you call a shadow?
Tyrone, don’t be a coon!
God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Ur hairline is like a Fortnite map at the start of a new season waiting to be identified.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...
"It was just a prank bro."
Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!
Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.
What do gingers miss most at a grate party?
The invitation.
What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?
Not sure, I just fly the drone.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.