Aed jokes
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.
American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.
African XP farms: Cotton field.
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?
Frisk: One knife, plz.
Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.
Waiter: You eat a knife?
Frisk: Yes.
*Waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: Here you go.
Frisk: Thanks you.
Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
Your mum is so ugly she could make an onion cry.
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."