Aed jokes

Some people don't appreciate what I do for a living.

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So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.

I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.

You're a bish, and you are too!

Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

Pontypool is rough.

A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?

Surrounded by loved ones.

What was racing through people's minds during 9/11?

Probably a plane. (:

Why was 10 scared? Because it was scared of 9/11. And why did I have to take a fall? I have nothing to do with the big II.

Yo mama is so fat, she jumped on a trampoline and she broke it.

Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?

'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.

A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"

Q: Why can't you tell 9/11 jokes in a comedy club?

A: They always crash and burn.

You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.

Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.

Your mama is so fat. When she went skydiving, it caused a global panic.

Your mama is so fat.

She went on a diet and solved world hunger!

Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"