Aed jokes
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?
'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.
The last time I ever made a joke was just now.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?
Nothing, they're both receding.
What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.
You're so skinny, you can barely fit through a door crack.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.
Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.
What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?
Snooze Dogg.
Why did the ghost become a rapper?
Because he had some UNEARTHLY flow!
What's a rapper's favorite type of FOOTWEAR?
Rhyme Boots.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES desserts?
Ice Cream-E