Aed jokes
Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
Why was the cow scared? Cause he had a nightmoo-r.
My teacher told me to have a good day. SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)
Orphan: I want to be a relator.
Teacher: Why?
Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.
Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.
How do you spot an English man in Quebec?
A square head.
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
What? A telephone? Nah, I'm using a telebone.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
Your mom is a mom!
What do you call a bald science teacher?
HOBBS LOL XD :)
What do you say to a clock?
"What time is it?"
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.