Aed jokes

Yo hairline is a distraction to my education.

This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.

Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.

Johnny eats a lot of ham, so he catches lots of spam.

Girl: Hi (flirt)

Boy: Hi? (reluctant)

Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).

Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...

Stranger: Do you want a lollipop?

Kid: No, I hate lollipops, so yeah, and you are not my daddy.

Lesbian stands for:

L: Loving

E: Extra

S: Shitty

B: Bitches

I: I

A: Am attracted to

N: Nice girls.

I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?

What's the difference between a redhead and an orangutan?

Some people adopt orangutans.

Why does a kid yell, "Shit?"

Because he had to take one.

Does anyone have an Xbox One? My gamertag is Chalkyfrog11. Add me and comment on this post telling me your gamertag.

What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.

To those who are dead now, was it fun?

What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.

How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"

Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?

Because they don't have a family to go with.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!

Two mates walk into a bar.

Mate 1: "Shit! Look at that spider over there!"

Mate 2: "Whateverrrrrrr."

Mate 1: "No, seriously, it's bloody massive!"

Mate 2: "(Turns around) Shit, that's huge, I thought you were joking."

Mate 1: "No, I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)"

What's the name for a short legged tramp?

A low-down bum.

What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?

One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.