Aed jokes
What does Joyce from the show "Stranger Things" say when she has a flat tire? "Wheil, wheil, wheres wheil?"
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!
Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?
A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.
What is the difference between a horse and a rabbit?
A horse can't hoop.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
Kid finds genie lamp, wishes to be Batman.
Genie: You're now an orphan.
I am deciding to do songs on this app... so I am a type songs. If you want a specific song typed I will type just comment!
A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"
So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack was surprised to see she had different eyes, and that’s when he realized... Jack had fucked Jill’s daughter.
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
What do you call an entitled woman? A Karen.
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂