Aed jokes
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
Why can't homeless people buy a house?
'Cause they live on the streets.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
Why do orphans love church?
They finally have a father.
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.
The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.
The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.
LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,
"Some asshole has my pen!"
If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
Why are blinds called blinds?
Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.
When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.