Aed jokes
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
My favorite bath bomb is a toaster.
You so gay you have a fat sis and?
What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?
Ma-SCARE-a!
Why did the old man win in a fight? Because he was stressed.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
What goes in small and soft?
And comes out big and hard?
A tea bag.
Knock, knock? Who's there? A mirror, I'm lonely.
What’s Steven Hawkins' favorite song?
"Highway to Hell" because it’s a staircase to heaven.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.
Why did the woman feel ugly?
A. Nobody would even rape her.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
The lady says, "Come again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
Once there was a man. A man who had a butt.
Once he was at this job interview and he was going to get the job, but just before the boss was going to hire him, he farted. It was a really bad one. It was 47 minutes long and so loud the windows rattled. When it was over, the man screamed and jumped out the window.
He didn't get the job.
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.