Aed jokes
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
Yo mama so dumb, when Fox Five said it's chilly outside, she brought a bowlllllll!
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
Q: Why do orphans hate Fast and Furious movies?
A: Because they say "family" too often.
What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?
Push 'em.
There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why don’t she stand up for herself?
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"