Aed jokes
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
Why are blinds called blinds?
Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.
When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.
What is the most useless part of a vagina?
The woman.
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
You. You're a joke.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
Did Jesus die a virgin?
No... He got nailed! 😅
Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
What did the cancer doctor say?
You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.