Aed jokes

A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.

When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.

Your favorite music artist is Cardi B? I prefer Cardi A+ if I'm being honest.

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.

If you kill someone, that's murder.

If you kill a family member, that's still murder.

If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."

What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.

What are the sinful letters of the alphabet?

A, B, C you in hell.

I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.

I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."

I troll under different usernames. I'm a bit all over the place mentally.

What does a bouncy airplane sound like?

Boeing Boeing Boeing...

So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.

When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...

What's an emo's favorite game? Fruit Ninja.

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?

Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.

During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.

He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*

Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.

Girlfriend's ex: Why?

Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.