Aed jokes

Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.

Who named their daughter Macadamia?

A couple of nuts.

Your momma is so fat, she was in a movie and the screen broke!

The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."

Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.

One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.

Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"

Your hairline is so big, it was used as a highway.

What's red and blue and runs up your leg?

A homesick miscarriage.

What do you call a dead hooker?

It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.

Hitler isn’t really a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler himself.

Why did the Asian parents have an Asian baby?

Two wongs don't make a white.

Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.

(True story)

One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.

It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?

A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?

People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!

1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.

My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.

How do you surprise a blind guy?

Say, "Surprise!"