Aed jokes
Huh what you say?
Come fight me, suck a dick.
What does my uncle call a school?
A strip club.
So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.