Aed jokes

Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!

A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

What do you call a group of Emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

What jumps and never let's go?

An Emo kid.

I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.

Dead.

Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?

The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!

Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.

The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"

Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."

What is sticky, but it cannot stick a stick?

Once my sister was a sister, now she's a blister.

Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.

How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.

How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.

You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.

I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍

Why do orphans live in an orphanage?

Answer: Because they are wanted there.

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

One day I threw a boomerang...

Now I live in constant fear.

My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!

My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.

How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?

Change your name to "Rape."