Aed

Aed jokes

Cut

    • A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

    Uranus

    • If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.

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    • CPR

    • I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.

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    • Wine

    • Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

    Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

    Lady: "No, officer."

    Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

    Lady: "Just water, officer."

    Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

    Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

    Trunk

    • I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.

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    • EDP

    • FREE MY ÑIGGA EDP HE INNOCENT ONCE UPON A TIME I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND HE FARTED SO GAHDAMN MUCH INTO MY MOUTH THAT I STARTED DROOLING A HERSHEY WATERFALL THIS ÑIGGA IS SO SEXY AND I LOVE WHEN HE SITS HIS FAT ASS ON TOP OF ME TYSON U JUST JEALOUS YOU AIN’T GOT NO ONE LIKE BRYANT U RETARDED LOOKING ASS BITCH I DARE YOU TO GET A PARTNER AS LOYAL AND INNOCENT AS EDP FREE MY ÑIGGA BIG HOMIE CHEESE HEAD 474747 HE INNOCENT.

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    • Name

    • There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

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    • Orphan

    • How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

    Nerd

    • Katsuki Bakugou went into a bar and said: "Where is that damn nerd?!?". Everyone was confused.

    Bakugou says: "Tell me where Deku is or I'll kill you!" He kills them all because they all have green hair.

    Gun

    • When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

    He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

    I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

    Teeth

    • When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."

    A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."

    Orphan

    • People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

    Cock

    • One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.

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