Aed jokes
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.
Cheer on the rapist if you want.
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"
"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."
"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"
"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."
The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"
What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they don't have a dad or mom.
It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
What do you call a black man in the dark?
- Nothing.
I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.
Q: What does LMAO mean?
A: Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
Yo hairline so long that it doesn't have a stopping point.
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.
The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.