Aed jokes
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
The boy asks, "What gave me away?"
The man responds, "Your parents."
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?
(Doesn't have boss bar.)
You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
What is better than a paralympic gold medal?
Walking! 😂😂😂
When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.
Why can't a girl with no legs play soccer? Because she's a girl.
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill.
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,
And he needed a painkiller pill.
Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.
The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫