Aed jokes
My friend told me to name a country in Africa.
So I said, "Hungry."
My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
Which word is also called for women's prison?
"Pridaughter."
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."
A: What is Technoblade's favorite zodiac sign?
Q: Cancer.
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!