Aed jokes
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
I got detention for giving an emo kid a happy meal.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.
Q: What do you call 9/11? A: Enemy persion airstrike.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat, he would’ve named it Freethrow, because he will never sink it.
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
At the library, I got in trouble for putting a cooking book in the women's section.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.
How does a non-binary ninja slay enemies?
They/Them.
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.