Aed jokes
"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"
What's the similarity between an emotional and a leaf?
The emo is still hanging.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
Did you just come from a bakery? Because youโve got the hottest pair of buns Iโve seen all week.
I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.
How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.
Please welcome Mozart's The Magic Flute...
In A minor.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
Is your hairline a time traveler, because it went way back?
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "โ โ โ ฝโ โ ฅ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ฝโ โ ฅ โ โ โ โ โ โ ฝ."
I have no idea how he knew.