Aed jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Isabell?
Isabell really needs to go on a bicycle.
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.
Why did Peter bring toilet roll to the party? Because he was a party pooper!
What part of a computer system does an orphan not have?
A motherboard.
I don't wanna brag, but I finished a puzzle in under a week, and it said 2-4 years on the box.
What do emos and guys with a durag have in common? They both have waves, just one is on their arm.
Q: What type of flowers do orphans hate? A: Mums.
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?
Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.
Q: What's 1+1? 2+2? 4+4? 8+8? Name a vegetable.
A: Carrot 🥕
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.
I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!
A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.
Demon: Why you sad?
Guy: I’m in hell, can’t you see?
Demon: Well, we have fun here at hell.
Guy: Really? Nice.
Demon: We do sleeping in on Mondays.
Guy: OoOoOo
Demon: Tuesdays we swim in our lava or dive in fire. If you die, you’re already dead ☠️
Guy: Ok, does that mean I’m a ghost?
Demon: No, you're not a ghost.
Demon: Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺
Guy: Ooooooo, I can’t wait 😜
Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die, and you're already dead, remember that?
Guy: Ok, but I am dead, and if I die again, I was already dead, right?
Demon: Yup.
Demon: I have a question: Are you gay, and do you like kissing fire girls, and if you die, you are already dead?
Guy: Ummm, I am not gay, and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱
Demon: Then you won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday, heheh.
Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell 🪦🏴☠️☠️☠️💀
Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now.
It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.
Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.
Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏
Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:
This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
What do you call a guy with a long chin?
Chino-Chinese
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?
Put a flower on their gravestone.
Why is the ocean blue?
A: Because the fish go, "blu-blu."