Aed jokes
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.
If you had a dollar for every time someone said you're ugly, you'd meet someone who wouldn't say you're ugly.
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?
These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.
Why can't an orphan see their parents? Because there is mayo in his dick hole.
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class and I said, "Man, they are really bad at Jenga!"
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.