Aed jokes

Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

A: Bison.

What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?

Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)

Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice

If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!

What's the difference between a car and a car?

I have absolutely no idea, sorry.

I only have a few friends, like if you relate.

Based on a true story.

You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.

I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.

Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship.

For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.

What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.

As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.

What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.

What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?

Hang in there!

Your hairline is an artificial fact.

Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D

Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.

I told a furry, "Don't call yourself a joke!" I said to the furry, "Joke has meanings."

I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"

He said, "Dogs."

I said, "Why?"

He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."

What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?

Panera Ned.

I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!