Aed

Aed jokes

Baby

    • So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”

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    • Wheelchair

    • My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

  • 1

    • Wheelchair

    • A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.

    He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.

    The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

    On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"

  • 1

    • Difference

    • What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?

    One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.

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    • Chin

    • My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.

    I told her to keep her chins up.

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    • Wheelchair

    • I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.

    I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.

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    • Difference

    • Q: What is the difference between Americans and Africans? A: Some of them have food, and some of them don't have food.

  • 2

    • Girl

    • A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."