Aed jokes

What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?

White Vans.

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?

A nugget.

What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?

Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.

Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."

Why do Russians drink grizzly bear piss?

Since vodka in Russia is so weak, Russians need a strong drink to get drunk.

What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?

Getting them back in the wheelchair.

What do you call an Irish lesbian?

A Gaelic.

Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."

Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?

A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.

Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.

Why didn't the oyster share its pearl?

Because it was a cunt.

How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?

Use he/him pronouns on him.

What's the difference between a female NCO and a zebra?

A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.

What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?

An hour later, you're hungry—for power!

Mom found a mirror in the garden and said, "I'll show you a real picture!"

Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.

Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"

Two blonde girls find a beautiful Christmas tree in the woods.

After two hours, someone said, "We found a tree without bark!"

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw a wok down the stairs.

Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?

I’m gay.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks? In case he got a hole in one!