Aed jokes

I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.

Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.

What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.

Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.

If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.

A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."

What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?

She had small tits.

What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'

'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'

What the difference between a priest and acne

Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face

Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?

Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.

What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?

When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

They only have a back door.

A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.

You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.

Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?

A. Crayons.

How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)

I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."

I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".