Aed

Aed jokes

God

    • During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

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    • Line

    • Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.

    Computer

    • Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."

    Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."

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    • Slut

    • I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

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    • Guy

    • A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

    Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

    Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

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    • Train

    • I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."

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    • Restaurant

    • I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."

    Map

    • Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

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