Aed jokes
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
What do you call a pool full of white people?
Kix.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."
The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
What's a person in a wheelchair's favorite sport?
Jousting.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
Davin is a pedo.
What do you call a club that owls go to?
Hooters.
A man with 20 dollars walked into Dave & Buster's. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.
What's the difference between depression and a girl?
XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.
I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".
I have a son. Her name is Zara.
I also have a dad. Her name is Lydia.