Aed jokes
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?
Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
What do you call a retarded duck?
Fuck duck and lick my balls.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
Charlotte looks like a sperm.
A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"