Aed jokes
The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.
Q. What did Hitler give his niece for her birthday?
A. An easy bake oven.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.
25 at a time.
"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.
"Why?" said her friend.
"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"
"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.
"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."
Went to my local Indian restaurant and asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala.
The waiter said, "What's that?"
I said, "It's the same as a tikka, just a little otter."
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
"What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?"
"A broken nose."
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
Why did the cheetah get disqualified?
Because he was a cheetah, duh!
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."