Aed jokes
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
What's the difference between a cow and a pig?
One is a pig.
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.
A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"