Aed jokes
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
Once the aliens was gonna have a party, they had to planet.
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?
Black people don't shoot up schools.
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.
If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
Charizarding.
When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
A baby seal walked into a club.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.