Aed jokes
Caesar went to the future only to see how the Romans forgot Julius Caesar but only made a salad... I think it would have been better if Caesar stayed dead.
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
One day you were at the store and you see you in a cart, and so you get out, and it was a mirror. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Lol
Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.
PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.
You take four, then you put a "n" at the end, then you take the "u" out, then you replace the "f" with a "p". What do you get?
What's green and is dangerous?
Kermit with a flip knife.
Velcro is such a rip-off.
What kind of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.
What do you call an ear that's dead? Deaf. Hahaha! Oh wait...
How old is a blue plane?
Blue.
What do you call a male ladybug?
Trans.
If nine is a number, then why on Earth is not "ja" a number?
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.
It was because he didn't speak French.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.