Aed jokes
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
I met a drum circle once, they were a huge hit!
Let's tell a secret about each other... I'll go first.
I
hate
you!
Yo' mama is a joke.
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."