Aed jokes

What's a pedo's favorite snack?

Sour Patch Kids.

I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.

A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"

A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.

Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.

What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.

Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.

For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.

What do you call a Trump Supporter?

A piece of $hit!

What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?

The licorice is black.

I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.

I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.

What do us emos all have in common?

Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."

Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.

Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.

Nah, North Korea got inspired by the fatman nuke that he also became a fatman with nukes.

why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.

Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?

Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.