Aed jokes
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
Why did the rapper start a gardening business?
He had mad ROOTS in the game.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?
Ad-lib-idas.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.
First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"
Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"
And throws the White man off of the building.
How was copper wire invented?
Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
What do you call an Eskimo stripper?
A frosty-tute.
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
What do you call a bunch of Black people in the river?
A black current...