Aed jokes

Just got a new internet connected toaster. It wouldn't work until I enabled pop-ups!

Why did the orphans go to the church?

Because they need someone to call "father."

I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.

Once, there was a kid named Cale, but his classmates didn’t know it was spelled with a “C,” so they asked him if he could be their snack.

One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......

It’s a wood hulem.

What did the customer say when Beef a Roo made him a bacon cheeseburger?

Thank a Roo.

What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?

If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!

Wanna hear a joke? Your face.

GET DUNKED ONNNNNN!

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?

He bought a warehouse.

Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?

Dad: He had a nap.

Kid: Where is he now?

Dad: HELL!

I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"

I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.

Join us for more of the story, after the break!

I lent my calculator to a friend. He is using it to this day.

I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?

Q: What is Trump?

A: An oversized oompa loompa.

How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?

They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.

What is a fish’s 🐟 favorite game?

Salmon Says!

I'm like a teddy bear. I don't like to be fucked.

What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?

You abort it.